Move: go to front door of Cleansing Arrow guild

Action:

Go to guards and be like "bitches you best be letting a nigga up in this before I slap your asses" attempt to hypnotise guards with a mixture of my pimp cane and bling to let me through.

Brother dont need no plans yo

Falcrack gets the Big Two-handed axe from Geoff and swings at one of the goons, hoping to show him the folly of refusing a good offer of employment.

Geoff attempts to run his sword though the gut of the other goon.

Hazza, for as far as I know you only posted once since the last chapter:

Which didn't involve an action. That just cost you a turn mate!

Chapter 15 – 1 nuke is never enough – 6pm
DeadMG takes another chapter of rest. His problems are gone and he hopes stays that way (While I’m hoping not)

Falcrack takes the big axe from Geoff and attempts to chop someone’s head in two pieces. It’s heavy (-1 for the measly shoe cobbler that you are!). Falcrack rolls a 5-1. Roll to dodge (2-1). Roll for damage (5). One goon’s head turns in two half heads. He’s dead. Geoff also attacks and rolls a 4. Roll to dodge (1-1). Roll for damage (5). This doesn’t need much to explain, but I’m going to do so anyway. Or let Geoff do it. And the poor bloke who just got killed.
“DIE YOU MORON!”
//SLASH// \\BACKSLASH\\
---FAIL TO DODGE---
“ARRGHHH. THAT HURTS!!! It hurts so much! I’m going to die...”
“I’m dead.”
“Why do you still speak then?”
“No idea, my family members also always spoke after they died.”

Hawkeye attempts to heal his broken leg (5). Done. He wants Simba to grow but Simba can’t and patiently waits for the next nuke to drop on the village’s mayor’s head.

Hazza has no idea what to do, so he’ll just do nothing instead (You’ve had a week, if you’re not going to type it down by then, I’m going to let you skip the turn). You’ve still got a -60 on sight related stuff, you know. Did I say -60? Oh sorry, it’s -6, but if you’re going to do nothing next turn, it’ll go -60!
*Toby arrives at Destra.

Isik attempts to build an automaton. This costs 3 pieces of metal and 2 pieces of wood. Isik has a blueprint (+2) and 3 awesome pieces of metal (+1 each). Isik rolls a 5+2+3!!!
OVERBUILD!!!
Isik constructs such an awesome automaton that the space-time continuum breaks and sucks the automaton in. But don’t worry. Two automatons come out and are sucked in right away, only to emerge with one more immediately after. Isik now has three automatons. Since he equipped the first one with the rope blade, the other two have one as well!!!
The automatons are of your inventor’s level (2). This gives them the bonus of a -1 on the enemy RTD.
Isik gains 5+3 experience from the construction, and now he is a level 3 inventor. Constructing small items (such as grenades, daggers, stuff of that size), give you a standard +1.

K-lord attempts to hide the Flying Dutchman in fog (5). It’s hidden! +5 exp on anima magic. The target won’t counter attack when you attack next turn. Joney Davos is impressed.

Mazrix turns around and faces the folks with a wide grin! (3) The others also grin at you! That’s a good thing to start with.

Moose attempts to murder the hooded figures (6-1, outnumbered). Roll to dodge (6,3,3,2,6, all -1-1 => 4,1,1,0,4). Roll for damage: (4,4,6,2,1, all +1) Needless to say, three are torn apart and now emit some nice white light from the edges of their chunks of flesh. One is badly hurt (will die in turn 16). The last one is left unharmed.

OrangeKnight attempts to impale the mage right in front of him! He rolls a 3 and the mage rolls a 3-2-1 on dodging. Roll for damage (6). One dead mage. And another one (the one that would die anyway). No more mages left!

Regabond attempts to steal OrangeKnights lance! (6). Roll to doge (3-1). OrangeKnight has lost his lance! +7 exp for Regabond’s thief skills.

Spuddyt morphs into a bowling ball and attempts to roll around into random directions (6). The spikes effectively plough the ground you’re rolling on, awarding you with 10 gold and a surprise card! (You don’t know what it is, only I do: you can use the surprise card on enemies in battle, on yourself in battle or at any given time on anyone or anything).
+5 exp brings Spuddyt to the lv 2 of mutating. He mutates claws on his feet (Additional to the darts). As soon as your attacks involve any kind of kick, it gets a +1. Have you considered learning karate, so you can add all of those claw attacks together?

Toot goes to the cleansing arrow house and speaks to the guards: "bitches you best be letting a nigga up in this before I slap your asses". He then uses his orange staff on them (6). Roll to dodge (3-1, 2-1+1, that one’s level 2 you know). The two guards start to inflate! They slowly take the shape of a balloon and start to float away! This is no hypnosis staff! It’s a balloon staff! Toot is lv2 in pimpness and all pimp actions get a +1.

Wolfinator attempts to heal more distortion (2+1). Another bit of distortion is healed (though it isn’t much). You now have broken arms (no longer distorted). Your legs remain distorted, then broken.

Gary attacks! (5). Roll to dodge (2-1). Roll for damage (3+1). The dark creature is distorted into nothingness.
Gary and Wolfinator now go to the chest and are followed by the remaining creatures. They are stronger than the first ones you encountered (-1 on your RTD). They will also combine their attack so you are outnumbered (another -1 on your RTD, a +1 on their damage).

Dark creature attacks (2). No effect.
Hooded figures attempt to abduct Moose again (6). Roll to doge (2-1). Moose is ABDUCTED. One turn skip, you need that to regain consciousness, but they’ve been too stupid to tie you up and they also forgot to put your weapons and items in another room. You still have everything but won’t be able to do chapter 16.
Right after the abduction, 4 hooded figures die.
Mages’ counterattack (6). Roll to dodge (6-1). Roll for damage (2+1). OrangeKnight gets a broken knee from it. Henk won’t be able to move fast and you get a -1 on movement requiring actions.

Inventory M) Minion
DeadMG: SpaceTimeMage/swordsman (2.10/1.0).
@North of Village
*Iron sword
*Teleport spell (you’ll have to level up several times to get it really strong)
*Slow time spell (-1 on enemy dodge rolls for several turns)
*Book on basic space manipulation
*Book on basic time manipulation
*Gold (15)
*Sword
*Shield
+1 resistance
A) Wolfinator

Falcrack: Shoe Cobbler/Fisherman (1.8/2.8 ).
@Docks
*2 rods
*Fishing net
*Big axe (-1 when using it because you’re a measly shoe cobbler)
*1 pair of shoes
*38 gold (-3/turn)
+ No roll less than “2” when doing an action that requires movement. This is countered when you have a –X on something that requires movement.
+1 fishing (net)
A) Regabond, OrangeKnight, Mazrix
C) Geoff (swordsman/thief (2.9/1.5))
~*sword
~*bison hide
~*2 pieces of meat
~-1 on two-handed (wounded arm)
~+1 on own RTD
~A) Toot, OrangeKnight, Mazrix, Moose, Regabond

Hawkeye: Archer/Thief (2.8/1.8 ).
@Ground Zero (Nuke 1)
*Bow
*Bison Hide
*Lockpicks (5)
*Gold (15)
*Manes
+1 Bare handed (claws)
-2 on anything that requires movement
Faster shooting: -1 RTD (enemies)
A) Hazza, Spuddyt, Isik
C) Simba
~Growing (2/3)

Hazza: AnimaMage/Archer (1.1/1.6).
@ West of village
*Basic fire book
*Rusty bow and arrows (10)
*Gold (500)
*Can investigate rooms on life from another room
+1 on RTD (own) (large sack)
-6 on sight related (until healed – healing this does not go -6, goes -60! Next turn if you do nothing about it)
C) Toby the labra-doodle
~@Destra
~attack small animals
~fetch
~follow other people
A) Hawkeye, Spuddyt, Isik

Isik: Thief/Inventor (1.7/3.6)
@Destroyed bank (ext)
*Metal beam (1)
*Lockpicks (3)
* leather
*Lockpick-knife
*Torch Staff
*leash (for two beings)
*Standard pimp sword (+1 when pimps use it, -1 on damage. +1 on damage IE 0 in total when it is filled with energy, otherwise it will fill up energy on use)
+1 on talking
+1 on small item construction
A) Hazza, Hawkeye
M)
~Automaton (2)
~*Rope-blade
3x

K-lord: Ghost/AnimaMage (1.0/1.5)
@Flying Dutchman
*Binoculars
^^Joney Davos’ ghost pirates (sailor)

Mazrix: Archer/LightMage (2.10/3.0).
@Cleansing Arrow Mountain Guildhouse
*Bow with arrows (9)
*Coffee beans
*Gold (15)
+1 for damage rolls (A)
+1 on healing yourself
+ Enemies suffer -1 on RTD (Light Magic)
A) Falckrack , OrangeKnight, Toot, Geoff
F) Regabond

Moose: LightMage/Swordsman (2.14/1.3)
@Dungeon of Dark Mages
*Book of light
*Light sword
*Gold (10)
+ speed of light (-1 to enemy trying to dodge you)
A) Geoff, Mazrix, OrangeKnight, Toot
F) Regabond
^^Aeon Templars (janitor)

OrangeKnight: spearman/LM (2.4/2.4 ).
@Regabond (plain)
*Beer
*7.5 m (22.5 ft) of rope
*Gold (5)
*Fancy shoes
+1 RTD (shoes)
+1 on damage (lance)
+ -1 on enemy RTD (speed of light increased, lv 2 LM)
-1 on movement related (Henk can’t move fast)
E) Regabond
A) Falcrack, Mazrix, Moose, Toot, Geoff
C) Henk (Frisian horse) Trust (1/3)
^^Aeon Templars

Regabond: Thief/DarkMage (2.7/1.0).
@OrangeKnight (plain)
*Dagger
*Lockpicks (5)
*Beef (with bones in it)
*Gold (10)
*OrangeKnight’s steel lance
+1 on RTD.
E)OrangeKnight
A) Falckrack, Geoff
F) Moose, Mazrix
C) Slagathor: trust (0/5)

Spuddyt: Axeman/Mutant (1.5/2.0).
@ Ground Zero (Nuke)
*Broken Axe
*Rusty hatchet
*Claws on shoulders (+1 when attacking with your shoulder)
*Claws on feet (+1 when attacks involve any kind of kick. Have you considered karate?)
*Surprise card!
-1 on two-handed (wounded arm)
+1 on damage rolls (darts as toes)
+1 attacking buildings and slow automatons (You must be in bowling ball form for this)
A) Hazza

Toot: Axeman/pimp (1.5/2.0)
@Cleansing Arrow Town Fart Guild House
*Pimp Cane (no effect)
*Orange Pimp Cane (Balloon staff)
*Hatchet
+1 on pimp actions.
A) Mazrix, OrangeKnight, Geoff, Moose

Wolfinator: DarkMage/Spellcrafter (3.4/1.3).
@Dungeon of Dark Mages
*Book: Flux
*Book: Drain (lv 7)
*Book: Summon rats (lv 4)
*Scroll: Undo dark backfire (on yourself)
*2 crystals (50%, 100%)
+1 resistance
+1 action roll.
-2 on movement related actions (distorted, then broken legs)
-2 on one handed (2 arms broken)
A) DeadMG, Gary

Factions
Aeon Templars (LightMages).
*Moose (janitor)
*OrangeKnight (janitor)

Allies
P) Gary: Shieldsman/DarkMage (1.0/2.0)

Enemies
*7 strong dark creatures (100% Health, -1 on player RTD)
*1 hooded figure.

Secret inventory
It’s secret (I use it for surprise cards).

Maps
Players not on the map: K-Lord (two ships, nothing else important for now because the captain wants to attack the ship).
Toot (you're at Town Fart's CA guild house you've already seen)

http://i516.photobucket.com/albums/u328/Plasma_Wolf/RTD%20OT/Dungeon15.png
http://i516.photobucket.com/albums/u328/Plasma_Wolf/RTD%20OT/CH15.png

Oh. I missed the last chapter somehow.

Oh well.

Heal my eyes i do.

I practice my space-timey-wimey goodness.

Move: I run the **** north.

Welp, since I'm not completely sure what's going on, I'll just follow the folks on the ship.

I continue trying to heal the distortion and peek inside the chest
Moose, help me out damnit

I must've forgotten something. Wasn't I supposed to send you a new pm as soon as you got at the Guild House or something? Let me check that at some point tomorrow.

My three automatons All Fetch Wood and Metal!
I attempt to steal something off of a passerby.

Move: move about the guild house

Action: investigate the guild hall, in empty rooms look for clues for the location of the pimp guild master, if there is anyone about, talk to them and ask them what the deal is.

I remain a ball(er)
I attempt to jump into the air building up spinning speed while I fly to suddenly unleash in a burst of destruction.
Towards the sea.

I would, but I lost my action for turn 16. You'll have to rough it till 17.

oh in that case,

"come simba! let us finish our transformations!!" Move to closer to the next nuke area to continue/finish our transformations!

I'm expecting we're heading directly towards the enemy ship? And that's the one where our target is?

I look at the rest of the crew on the ship and go: "Everyone! Let's pummel their sails full of holes to prevent their escape!"

If the rest of the crew are up to it, I Twin strike the ship's sails. I expect them to shoot at it too.

IF they are not up to it, I'll see if I can snipe some of the hostile ship's crew.

I focus on My Lance, infusing it with a Holy Aura and using it as a Focal point to consecrate the ground all around Regabond, disorienting and weakening him to the point of collapse.

No move action.

Mike

End of Ch14
End of Ch15

The next nuke is already there. Take a look at the picture. It's bright and all shiny again.

This town...
Uh...
It's not going to last very long, is it...

Personally, I'd be concerned most if I was in the Vault. Everyone else can just run the **** away.

We're safe down here in the vault. If need be I'll just DIG A HOLE

You faggot wizards better stay away from Fart Town. This is why we can't have nice things. Wizards always destroy it.

oh lol, i didn't see anything mentioned in text so i assume it didn't happen lol. action amended.

Welp, not much of a town left to do business in anymore. I should "get out of Dodge" so to speak.

Falcrack and Geoff loot the corpses of the goons who could have been minions had they chosen more wisely, hop in the boat, and head north along the coast to find a new town to do business in...

Wait hang on, I've just drawn from a deck of many things haven't I? There is only one logical course of action, changing my action to:

I stick my mystery card to my forehead and wait.