I understand Plasma_Wolf. Believe it or not, I was a youngster myself once upon a time. It's constructive criticism. Your story telling is improving all the time. Keep at it. For a more realistic perspective on how soldiers interact, you might read some first person military histories.

Keep up the good work,

Marc

I know, but I always think that I have to explain myself when someone comments me or brings in critisim. It's not your fault that I try to 'justify' myself

It's a self correcting problem for most people. As you gain life experience your writing will progress in its depth and scope. Just keep doing it.

Marc

Keep up the good writing PWolf
I like seeing that you're improving your writing as you advance the story

Chapter 4, "Sung Island: the pirates versus the imperial fleet" is up. Enjoy

Good one Plasma_Wolf. Good action again and more plot development. It'll be interesting to see what happens in the last half of the battle. Then, we get to go on a treasure hunt.

Keep up the good work,

Marc

Very nice. It's sad that Simon died .

Chapter 5, Last man standing is up. Enjoy

Good one. Guess we'll have to wait for the treasure hunt.

Marc

Wonderful. You keep killing characters .

Still getting better! As always.


Killing a character that's been around for more than a few paragraphs is an excellent way to remind us that this is a war. People die. It ramps up the tension. Nicely done.

The final chapter is up.
I hope that you all have enjoyed the entire story.
Also, I have found some music that could fit in this chapter:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLzQYabEUkc&feature=PlayList&p=B3067D4FC982CCD6&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=20

Nice ending Plasma_Wolf. I find myself hoping that Leython has found a way to save himself. Maybe we'll see him somewhere down the road.

Thanks for the story,

Marc

Very nice ending. I hope Leython lives. I wish Clarke had realized that there was no quantum leeching device sooner, she might have done something heroic like gating in and helping him.

Damn, just damn.

I hoped you guys would think he's really dead, which he obviously isn't.

I could go all like "Whaaagh I fooled you guys ZOMG ZOMG". But no, you kept hoping. Of course, I should've expected it because Arnold survived and Redfog survived a lot of times.

Chapter 7 is up, with many thanks to dotswarlock for allowing me to use some of his ideas! (Cybran part, nodes section, Three-Rivers node).

Enjoy the chapter

Pretty good start on the next part of the story. It should be interesting seeing how you handle this.

Keep up the good work,

Marc

Complete my foot.

Though the story should go in an interesting direction now.

I'm looking forward to seeing where this is going.

You know, I can really see Leython piloting a Cybran ACU. Why? He specializes in intelligence warfare, so he'd be great with all the stealth Cybrans have.

Clarke said:



And now that begins, albeit delayed, it begins. Chapter 8 is up, enjoy.

Another nice chapter.

Well done. Let's see what happens next.

Marc

Here you are, chapter 9 is up. Enjoy

Now guess how I got the idea of the QLD

A minor spoiler: I think that the next chapter will be the last for as far as the Phantom node is concerned. It is not the last chapter of this book though.

Good job. I'm thinking the QLD's inspiration came from playing the Phantom mod.

Marc

Thats a damn good one. something tells me that the phantom mod gave u the name and idea
this is great stuff

Exactly, now guess why I chose Sung island. No, it's not because I needed a name or a "5 player" game. Looking in the supreme commander vault will help.