Where is my Chapter 15? Sorry Dots. I appreciate your effort.

Whoops, just fixed that, thanks!

I also promise everyone that you won't be dissapointed by the next chapter. One section will have the biggest revelation since Brackman had his brain put in a water cooler

If Sam could just point a camera at the sky and know the Sera base is on the moon, then it must not be very hidden.
And the moon might be closer there. It's also not like you have to deal with an atmosphere the whole way, so that wouldn't affect range too much.

If it was an atmosphere the whole way, you'd be better off. The trouble is re-entry.
In order for the moon to be close enough, the gravity would make the world and the moon collide. The Mavor's atmospheric propulsion is only good for 81km. By "closer", I don't think you realize how much closer.

Chapter 15 A repeat in history? is now online!

Strangely enough, the whole process might not persuade anyone here to give blood

FIRST POST

That's an AWESOME chapter Dots, I especially liked the interactions between Bagby and Redfog, and Dostya/Fletcher.

SECOND!!!

great chapter dots, i like how you included the "prototype" weapons, or mere suggestions of them. hehe, just awesome, love the interactions love it all, just one thing

at the end of the section where they are getting the medical process done you have this



the bold part could be either “Don’t worry, we've unlocked it for you.”
or “Don’t worry, we unlocked it for you.”
or “Don’t worry about it, we unlocked it for you.”

nothing else caught my eye though in terms of errors

Bagby as Redfog! Holy hopping Monkeylords! That's just crazy enough to make sense. I love it when these tales explore the side roads. It also makes me think Bagby is going to be around for another couple of books (at least). Somebody has to avenge a certain Cybran's death a couple of years from now, and I can't think of a more perfect candidate.

Flashback to the present. Dots, your development as a master word smith has been phenomenal over the past year and a half. I can only say that I've felt privileged to be along for the ride. I truly believe that you could make an impact (not to mention a few bucks) by submitting some of your writing to a publisher. I have confidence you've got some story lines rattling around in your head that could be published as a series. Publishers love authors that can crank out tales on a schedule as you have for us this last 18 months. Please consider and take action. We'd all love to see you hit the big time.

Thanks for the great read.

MOAR!

Marc

Should be tracts. Also, covering them is not a correct verb, you don't cover digestive tracts. Covering is a physical action, to block off in a very literal sense. Given the clarficiation that you later give, this is totally the wrong word. I suggest just rewording the sentence completely or just cutting it out given that you have clarification later.

81 kilometers in-game. Remember, gravity is 10x what it should be, so that Mavor shell would be going a heck of a lot farther IRL than we see it in-game. Also, Clarke is using vanilla SMDs, the ones you can powerbuild before a nuke can even travel to your base from the other side of the map, let alone the moon. (even assuming that vanilla SMDs take more than two hits to stop a YO missile, it'd still probably be effective in the short-run)

Great chapter Dots, and O_O at Bagby in this one!

Edit: And if the moon is airless then we don't even need to worry about atmospheric re-entry... ^_^

Edit 2: Clarke's already got this problem solved.
I beg to differ. When the fuel runs out, the missile doesn't magically stop, it just ceases accelerating. If it's already reached escape velocity, then so long as it's course is accurate and it isn't intercepted mid-flight (and if it doesn't need to deal with atmospheric re-entry I might add) it will reach it's destination. How long this would take however is another matter entirely. It might be weeks before the missiles touch ground, which would likely be too late for Fort Tyro.

Dots you still rock!

That was a great chapter!

Classic Bagby introduction, I rofled.

Also another nice long chapter dude, big changes comin into play here.

I felt Tim's re-introduction back into the story was a bit hasty, and the description fo the part where they came into the hidden hanger missed a few parts, such as ya mentioned it could HOLD 50 pilots, but left it unclear whether there were 40+ ACUs already there as well as who was already in the base and knew their way round, and who had only just arrived, until the horrible blood part anyways.

But otherwise as said, nice buildup chapter, things gettin heated for poor Sam who'se gettin pelted with nuke after nuke, she's proabably sick of hearing that "STRATEGIC LAUNCH DETECTED!" warning by now, and I bet the command center staff are having nervous breakdowns hehe.

Also oooo at the Bagby/Redfog part, seems the ol' guy has a more cruel and badass past than we thought. Gotta remember he aint been old forever and might not have always been the same, (explains the alcohol + insanity) however the current Redfog must now be pretty old himself now, and very young at the time.

Nerdfish will have a nerdgasm at Buckethead being one of the key developers of the recall technology, shows he has inherited some of his old man's technological genius, as well as piloting badassness.

As said, great chapter dude, hoping some nice long, descriptive battles come in the next one, just like in the old books. Love hearing tactics being used, what unit blows up what and so on, the Mission 6 battle ya did was especially awesome. Keep at it!

PS: Like the dude said above, sometime in the future and for a decent price, these better end up in my bookcase in paperback form. I'm sure even GPG would agree due to how awesome they are, plus its extra advertising, and some comission for them.

Questions

1. Did Tim meet Dostya face to face ?

2. Did Tim go through the same 'medical procedures' the other ACU pilots went through ?

3. How would he react if he heard what Redfog suggested ?( the part about targeting civillians for a distraction )

4. Was Dr. Brackman present ?

“Has any other secret research program being developed while we were away? Is there any other edge that we can use?”
Should be "been developed."

actually he can use "being developed" he just has to change the sentence to be like this

"Is there any other secret research program being developed while we were away?"

Fixed, thanks!

Reworded that one, thanks!

Fixed, thanks!

I wonder how Brackman's brain tank would cope with being recalled, hehe.

Nice introduction of it being stressing for the pilot and so on, heh I remember the good ol days of Arnold puking allover his cockpit just after one gate jump, he'd have gone into a coma at being recalled.

Vanilla SMDs cost more to construct and the missiles are not cheap either. They also have capacity and aiming issues. FA SMDs are more reliable, smarter, and cheaper, with a bigger protection radius. When the fuel runs out, the missile simply can't maneuver to aim at the base in question, and, as you said, timeframe and re-entry are still problems.

So what if the gravity is 10x? That's the game gravity. What does real gravity matter? Even if you extended the Mavor's range by a factor of 10, it would still be far too short-ranged to hit the moon. It also means the required escape velocity of a missile is a lot more.

However there's a danger here, which is mainly that if the gravity was 10x, we would be crushed under our own weight simply stepping on the planet's surface.