Ok first things first... This is my first story EVER!! and I don't know if this is suitable to a SupCom story board, but I have seen the work here and wanted feed back on the beginning of my story... So if this doesn't fir the criteria of a SupCom fanfic or what ever I don't mind if you delete it or lock or something... Ok here it is...


3rd March 2875
Planet Archon of the Epsilon system

As Tory stepped out of her type three civilian class Transport she realised that the devastation around her was all of her fault and hers alone. All she saw around her was collapsed buildings, smouldering corpses and rotting food. Then from behind a wall she saw a faint figure among the smoke, she raced forth and saw that it was a small child with badly burnt limbs. Tory called out for help but no one responded to her cries.

Her mind then filled with the increasing sound of reverberating engines and peoples screams for help, the smoke started to clear and she opened her eyes to a bright green light. This green light was to be known as the end of humanity but also humanities only possible salvation.

15th October 2870
ESC Ausempta – national freighter for the planet Arcampta

“Captain we just lost contact to subsection 8b through to 9c”

“What the hell is happening here?”

“I have no idea, but we have to stop this thing soon” replied his first lieutenant

“Ok, everyone get their sidearm, set the ship to autopilot and stack up at the door. What ever is attacking us will have to face the might of the captain and his crew”

“But captain…”

“No buts lieutenant just do it!”

“Aye sir running the diagnostics now, the ships AI will take it from here, plotting course 001-C through 002-Q… Are you sure about this captain?”

“What else are we going to do lieutenant? Just sit here and wait for it to get us? I am not going to sit by and let this…Thing tear up my ship and then get us without one hell of a fight first”

Captain Halsey was a great man, he had won many battles on the field and in the endless vacuum of space. He had been promoted to Admiral then demoted to captain for a violation of the ESC engagement protocol. The Earth Space Commision was the remnants of a left over scrabble of people that inhabited many planets in many space systems.

These scrabbles of planets and people were also defended by the largest space fleet the human race has ever seen. This fleet had won many battles no matter how big the opposing side was the bravery and wits of the captains and admirals were never outmatched. People have said “it’s like one organism working as individuals” “it’s like facing a brick wall, no matter how hard you push or punch you will never break it”

As the team of lieutenants and navigation officers and mostly the captain lined up against and near the door waiting for this intruder to enter their bridge and be slaughtered by the rounds of eight 9.3mm rounds from their standard class pistols. They waited at least an hour by that door waiting, listening to the distant screams of pain and torture. No one was allowed to leave and no one was allowed into the bridge, no matter how desperate their please were. What happened next no-one expected.

Update one

25th December 2870
Planet Earth in the Gamma quadrant

“Daddy, there is a lady on the holo for you”

“Ok pass it hear honey”

“Here you go”

“Thankyou….Hello?”

“Hello President Joshua, I have bad news and good news and a demand from you”

“Wh…Who is this?”

“Names are but a formality and I am not here for formalities, now you better listen to me or you will pay a very dear price”

“Fine, go ahead”

“Ok, here is the good news, one of your freighters that was believed to go missing on the 15th of October this year. Well it has re-surfaced,

“I’m sorry but how the hell do you know this?”

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t ask questions Mr. President”

“And the bad news?”

“What we found was not good. The freighter has reappeared just out of the Arcampta relay position. After receiving no reply from the ship we decided to send a group of scouts onto the ship. We then lost contact with them 13 minutes after going aboard. This is not the least of your worries, we got many pictures from the scout squad before they went missing. I would show you them but I want something in return…”

“I don’t want your thieving ways to be in any way apart of this administration, good-day to you sir”

“Who was that Daddy?”

“That was just a… telemarketer honey… Daddy has to go to work now, be a good girl for daddy ok? Bye honey”

14th January 2870
Planet Earth in the Gamma quadrant

“Mr President.”

“Yes Marc”

“I have those details you wanted about that freighter that was lost in the Arcampta system.”

“Show them to me… Wh..What happened to these men?”

“We are still trying to figure that out”

“Tell me as soon as you have those answers”

15th October 2875
ESC Ausempta – national freighter for the planet Arcampta

The doors flew open; all anyone could hear for the next seventeen seconds was the rattle of pistols firing and the falling of equipment. The captain made a break for cover behind an overturned desk; he dove behind the desk receiving a bullet in the side of his leg restricting his movement for the time being. He raised his arm up and shot freely knowing that the rest of his crew would already be dead from this brutal attack.

Then all was silent, he could hear nothing other than his ever shallowing breaths and his heart trying to compensate for the loss of blood. He then heard a voice.

“Will the captain of the ship please come to the navigation panel of the bridge, and if he does not come then he will regret that decision as well”

Taking the chance to finally see his attackers he decided to crawl to the navigation panel, but as soon as they saw him they were helping him. Like he was a hero, he then felt a hot stab in his injured leg; he looked down to see there was a needle hanging out of his leg.

“Do not be alarmed, the needle will heal you”

The voice was so calm and placid although distant, like a voice in his mind telling him what to do and what not to do. He didn’t like the thought of someone or something being in his mind, but it brought him happiness and made his feel comforted. That was the last time he was ever aboard the Ausempta.




23rd June 2870
Planet Earth – Gamma quadrant

“Mr President”

“Yes?”

“We have found out what happened to that freighter we lost mid last year”

“I want to see it… Why it looks like they are shadows, but they are there. They are physical beings that look and behave like shadows.”

“Our technical analysts haven’t been able to figure out what they are as of yet sir”

“Ok then I want everyone on this trying to figure out what this… Thing is”

“Yes sir…One more thing sir”

“What is it?”

“The tensions between the ESC and Symbionts are growing very tense and they are demanding more and more from us”

The Symbionts are a mixture between artificial intelligence and pure human. Dr. Brackman was the creator of the first Symbiont after much time. It took him a very long time to perfect all of the melding with the brain and the artificial intelligence. Previous tests have proved to be… Devastating to the test subject; bringing death almost as soon as the matrixes were started up. The Symbiont would be able to look almost the same as a normal human being but would have the work speed of 300 top grade analysts.

“Ok, let’s just deal with the Symbionts like we have been doing lately, broadcast a low grade slave matrix to keep them all in line”

“It will be done sir”

5th March 2873
Aboard the Escapist, prowler class vessel

“Captain three unknown contacts at 132º to port”

“Go to stealth mode immediately”

Prowler class vessels were fast, nimble and perfect at stealth and hiding but they didn’t pack any firepower worth worrying about. The prowlers could stay in ‘hiding’, as the captains like to call it, for up to 2 weeks without coming out of hiding. Although this meant not turning on a light or warming up the engines, so although hiding was good when outnumbered it was not good for long periods of time.

“Sir we have visual on the three ships, they are heading directly for us”

“Distribute a low frequency distress signal to all friendlies… Navigation, de-activate stealth and push engines to 150% full capacity. I want to be away from these ships before they know we are even here”

“Aye sir, pushing engines to maximum thrust and more”

“Signal sent sir”

“Good, now we just wait and see if they will see us before we are gone”

“Uh… Sir we are picking some really weird readings they seem to be intra system space jumps.”

Space jumps were an invention of a professor called Takashima Hoonatchi. They allowed the vessel to enter a part of space that wasn’t affected by the laws of physics. Although this meant that ships could travel up to 600 times their average speed, there were down-sides including that if your co-ordinates were wrong then you could end up inside a planet or another vessel. But you would have roughly 1 second before the laws of physics kicked back in and you were killed. This prevented captains using it unless there was an absolute need for them.

“An intra-system jump, how many contacts are you reading?”

“At least 14 signatures sir, and by these readings I would say 3 Halcyon class battle ships, 6 prowler class ships and 5 Frigates sir”

“What is a fleet that big doing out here? I haven’t seen a fleet this size, all in one spot at the same time before”

“Sir! More contacts coming on screen now”

“Get us out of here lieutenant, pull us back to planet Colat”

“Aye, sir”

21st April 2875
Planet Earth – Gamma quadrant

“These riots are getting stronger and more frequent Mr. President, the symbionts have made there demands very clear, all they want is freedom and a place to live and prosper”

“I will not let that happen! They work for me…For us now they don’t deserve freedom, they are nothing but a bunch of freaks hooked to wires!”

“Sir, will all due respect, those ‘freaks’ are what got you into this place of power, you want to ruin all that just because they want a little of something else?”

“I don’t like your tone”
They were the last words the president’s assistant ever heard. Then teams of guards descended on the president and reprimanded him for shooting a fellow person. He was later put into jail for life.

After that day the ESC descended into Anarchy with no more than a small rabble of leaders to attempt at leading the rest of the human race.

Update two

14th November 2875
Planet Earth – Gamma quadrant

“Execute the slave matrix. These symbionts have had enough freedom for the rest of their lives.”

“Dr. Brackman, what’s happening to me? I feel as though I am losing control of my arms, my legs and they are not doing what I tell them to. Gustaf, I am scared”

“It will be ok my child, it will be ok”

Dr. Gustaf Brackman then executed his own little program into his closest symbionts, this program was called the liberation matrix that caused AI’s of the liberated to work only to the users thoughts. Giving the human total control over the AI, and with these closest symbionts and some liberated guards they made their way towards the shipyard.

“Where do you think you are going Brackman?”

“I am leaving this planet, along with my closest symbionts, seeing as though we don’t have freedom I will give us freedom”

“Not if I can stop it, guards, reprimand these traitors to the ESC”

“I am sorry but we cannot do that, Brackman is our leader now, not you, therefore we shall kill you”

The next thing Brackman could remember was the gunfight after his guards executed the guard’s leader. As he ran he could feel his old heart struggling to keep up with the needs of his muscles, he felt his chest getting tighter. Then he felt a hot shard enter his leg, he fell and rolled into a pile of garbage. His symbionts took cover behind a wall and the guards took point and covered Brackman. Brackman then covered his leg in a dressing that pulled out the bullet and would seal the hole for him, although the pain was unbelievable he managed to grit his way through this and ran for his ship that he gotten.

Once aboard the ship he fired up the engines to the maximum, and the symbionts started taking their places around all seats, and then uploaded the training matrixes to their AI’s and let them do the flying and navigation. This ship was the only one that could successfully travel through the quantum gate network without disintegrating into a million pieces. He decided to travel to Procyon, Procyon was lightly inhabited and would be easy to set up a resistance base there.

15th January 2876
Planet Earth – Gamma quadrant

“Sir, do you remember that fleet of scouts we sent to Seraphim II last year?”

“Yes, I do, didn’t we lose all contact with them?”

“Yes we did, and I have come here to ask permission to send another scout squadron with a light defensive escort for a scouting mission”

“I will give you the go ahead if I can see your read-out of this defensive squad. I don’t want to be sending in a fleet of scouts only to lose them again”

“Certainly sir, they will be ready in 3 hours”

Seraphim II was a planet worth scouting, it had perfect temperature for humans, it had water and it was huge, at least 8 times the size of Earth. Although the ESC thought this planet was un-inhabited, they were gravely wrong. The planet was inhabited by an alien race called the Seraphim; there technology was light-years ahead of the humans. They didn’t use these weapons however, unless it was for defensive purposes. The Seraphim were very strong believers in a religion called ‘the way’. The way was a teaching, that anyone could reach enlightenment.

23rd January 2876
Seraphim II – Eridanus system

“Now children, what have we learnt today? ... Yes Timmy”

“I learnt that no matter whether you are green, yellow, four eyed or metal, you can still reach enlightenment through the way”

“That is very good Timmy, now class dismissed”

---3 hours later---

“We have incoming ships sir, much like the ones you came in on”

“So they have come to scout some more? Well when they land be ready, offer them to join the way, or to be cleansed.”

“It will be done”

When the scout ship landed, the squad of marines dove out and took cover behind and trees or shrubbery that they could find. When they saw multiple contacts on their portable radar, they set up in flanking positions and readied themselves for a fight. Then, all of their weapons were stripped from their hands and their grenades and knives turned to dust.

“Do not be alarmed, we come in peace and offering”

The team of analysts stepped out of hiding from their scout ship and took video recordings of the aliens. Then they realised an astonishing thing, there were humans among the aliens.

“This offering you speak of, what is it?” asked an analyst

“Join ‘the way’ or be cleansed from our planet”

“Never will we join your maniacal ‘way’”

“Then you shall be cleansed”

Then straight away almost like a reflex the marine was killed, no bullet wounds or marks on his body, he just dropped dead. Horrified in seeing one of their team-mates killed, the marines resorted to old fashioned hand on hand combat. One marine managed to climb a tree and drop down on one of the aliens and snap his neck almost instantaneously. Then all seemed to stop, the ground began vibrating and a low hum could be heard. The marine captain was still fighting an alien, blow after blow he was punching into the alien, non-stop but the alien was not moving, was not flinching. So the captain launched himself behind the alien and snapped his neck, he then heard the noise and froze. All of the analysts walked to the aliens and said they would be happy to join their teachings of ‘the way’. The marines on the other hand, jumped for their weapons and ran into the jungle. Seeking refuge where they could.

Reserved for later posts

Reserved for later posts

This looks pretty cool. I assume "green light" is either aeon or God.

Also, if the " green light" is aeon(or one of the four factions), then it fits supcom universe. Although depending on who responds, some might be a tad stricter on what is supcom and what isn't.

Ok then... Although Spcae battles dont really fit the supcom universe... I was planning to have atleast one space battle...

As long as your story is even loosely based in supcom, I think you'll be fine. Plus, a space battle would be awesome, especially combined with an ACU battle on a planet below.

Ahem. Um... My story? Year 2010-whenever. You think YOURS isn't in the universe? Mine is before the quantum travel was even thought of...

Great so far though a little short.

Another player! Nice start. Keep it going.

Marc

Thanks, I will update it with everything I have written so far... There we go its updated...Enjoy and Yeah I would like criticism... Cause I can only get better

Could ya make chapters or something like

--Uodate 1--

so I can find it?

Thanks.

Just wondering, is the space jump thing an idea you got from the halo series? Because it functions on the same concept you wrote down. Anyhoo, good update. I'm looking forward to an epic space battle.

Kinda along the same basis, but I didn't wanna like be called up for copyright :S so I changed it a bit but yeah I am getting my inspiration for the space battles from those direct books I will try my best to keep you entertained...

Keep it coming.

Marc

Anything that explodes all pretty like keeps me entertained. And don't worry, I won't tell those sneaky copyrights police. Or will I? I could be one of them!

*runs away* lol... *says while runnign into the distance* I regret nothing...

Sorry for the double post, but does anyone have any ideas of how I could make it better? Writing techniques or anything like that?